0 Tip 257: Letter to 3 years old Haruka

Dear my darling Haruka,

You were 2 years 1 month old when you first set foot in Singapore. It is a joy to see you grow up and adjust to a new country. You have built the foundation earlier living in Tokyo, London and Hong Kong and have got used to interacting with foreign children, as well as adults who smiled at you and said how cute you were. You picked up English early when you watched Barney and played with foreign children at the church Sunday school at Canary Wharf, London. It is at this age and entering a new land with new cultures similar to daddies (Singapore) that you begin to explore your identity. After a 1 month visit to Okinawa, I was very surprised at how you could quickly switch to speaking more Japanese and not speak English at all. Daddy has since learnt to be patient as your sponge absorbs in various directions.

In Singapore, daddy wanted to give you new experiences you did not have previously. You had the opportunity to learn swimming in Singapore, as it was too cold in London or Tokyo. Daddy was also proud that you and mummy begin to find a Japanese church in Singapore that both of you enjoyed attending every week. You begin to learn bible stories every Sunday besides the children's bible daddy reads to you at night. Daddy was successful in inculcating in you the joy of learning and stirring your curiousity. The Singapore zoo is probably your favorite venue especially when daddy got a zoo visit card. You also were closer to Malaysia now and was able to participate in some Chinese traditions and had the precious opportunity to get to know your great grandmother in 2009, before she passed away in 2011.

In Singapore, you had more space to play compared to Tokyo. Daddy was glad you enjoyed the many toys we brought back from Tokyo since daddy was able to engage transportation of items from Japan. It is your blessing that Daddy was able to spend much time with you before your other siblings were born. May you cherish these moments and be a loving sister to your siblings always. When Sayaka was in mummy's tummy, you told both mummy and daddy that you will be a loving sister who will be kind and play well with your sister. You demonstrate much maturity in thought, speech and behavior and we can only praise God that He is constantly working in your life to guide you each and every day. Sometimes, you pray in your room with daddy in Japanese language. I am so touched by your prayers.

Daddy loves you and is glad for your ability to be the bridge between your Japanese grand parents and still adapt well in Singapore. I pray you will continue to be a blessing to many in the future. Love, Papa

(Photos of Haruka aged 3 years and her birthday celebrated in Ishigaki, Okinawa)

Detail: Tip 257: Letter to 3 years old Haruka

0 Tip 256: Letter to 2 years old Haruka

Dear my darling Haruka,

I have fond memories of you being 1 year old till you celebrate your 2 year old birthday in Tokyo. During this period, you had the most international experience that many other children your age did not have. You traveled and stayed at England, France, Hong Kong, Tokyo and Okinawa. You may be young then, but I am sure all these experiences added to your enhanced perception of life and ability to adapt in various cultures. Daddy had so much fun being up close and personal with you, by baby wearing you everywhere.  Often times, daddy would complain why you would not want to walk by yourself instead, as it was heavy carrying you long distances, but I had so much fun communicating with you that I realized it is a cherished moment that daddy would not trade anything for. Time spent with you when you were young were very precious.

I remembered some of our conversations and moments when daddy's head was next to yours. We would play hum a tune and guess the song. Even in the midst of blazing hot sun or pattering rain on the umbrella, we were so immersed in daddy's tune and you amazingly guessed every tune with the name of the song. Every time, daddy spotted an interesting flower or animal, I would point it to you and you would then come down from daddy's embrace to look for the little squirrel. With such fun we had, we did not need strollers even when daddy would sometimes bring it just in case. Daddy had free workout on my arms and pelvis muscles when carrying you and you had a free commentary on life. Daddy had a passport to nice events from the kindness of others who would be in awe of a cute charming Asian toddler and we had so much fun together.

I remembered the time when you were dancing on the red carpet of the premier of the movie "Australia" at Oxford Street and the Jazz band was in full applause for your showmanship. Daddy was all proud that my daughter was in the favour of the crowd. Everywhere your small stature took you, crowds were praising how a cute little girl you were. I am sure that added an ounce of confidence in how you further brought yourself up to interact with others. You would not be fearful to step forward to dance or to observe others more closely. This gave both of us, lots of interesting moments abroad to see life in different lenses and not just as tourists. I am thankful that despite all the travels, you were healthy to adapt easily, which would give daddy one less  headache to manage. Thank you for being tough deep inside you.

Daddy fed you with a steady supply of Barney DVDs and mummy consistently read you Japanese books every night. You maintained a superb command of languages and would instantly remember a French greeting you hear it just once. During our reading sessions, you progressively remembered both English and Japanese vocabulary for all objects and verbs. You enjoyed playing with European kids in the Sunday school in Canary Wharf. It helps that we can be mobile as you were potty trained at 16 months old with just a few mishaps after that. So daddy and mummy just took you where ever we like to go. In more of our walks together spending time to communicate, we went beyond the basic conversations in 2 languages, to encouraging you to develop an enquiring mind.
Even before the age of 2 years old, we experimented with the Why questions. Daddy was so delighted that we covered a lot of stories and intelligent conversations together. This stimulates daddy to continue such efforts to spur your intelligence and reflect on communication with toddlers. Blogging about our experiences inspires daddy to also try this for Sayaka and Wataru. Parenting is a pleasure when we connect with our children. Thank you Haruka for giving daddy such a privilege and joy. I pray that you will continue to cherish all these experiences you share with daddy. This blog documents most of my experiences with you, as daddy had more time earlier to blog and take lots of pictures with you. Please be nice to your siblings and love them as much as daddy loved you. The blog documents the many discoveries I wish to share with all my children so that they grow beautiful inside and out, like you. Love, Papa.

(Photos show Haruka's travel to Paris, Palace of Versailles, London, Kagurazaka and her 2 year old birthday celebrated at the Garden Lounge of Hotel New Otani, Tokyo).

Detail: Tip 256: Letter to 2 years old Haruka

0 Tip 255: Letter to 1 year old Haruka

Dear my darling Haruka,

I still remember the first few seconds of your entry into this world. After papa carried you from the midwife's arms, you stopped crying when you heard papa sing "Happy Birthday to you". Your eyes begin to circle the surroundings. I was not sure if you could actually see as most babies' vision are usually blur. Yet, you actually made an attempt to explore. You may find the tune and voice familiar since papa has been singing the same song, while you were in mama's womb. Or you may notice the difference between being in the womb and being in open air. That moment of seeing you so alert in your first few minutes, gave papa a sign that you are an intelligent, perceptive child, a blessing from God. It made all of papa's hard work and preparation in the past 9 months before your birth worthwhile. It was papa's first time being a daddy and God answered my prayer that you are easy to take care of and is constantly patient to teach papa the meaning of parenting.

It was a pleasure to be home to watch you grow more clever each day. It took away daddy's stress of working in Tokyo. When I spent time to try out new games and nursery rhymes with you even at a young age of under 1 year old, you responded well. You became daddy's new companion and made daddy's sacrifices worthwhile. Daddy enjoyed thinking of new role plays to stimulate your curiosity. Each time it works as you have a deep desire to learn and possess strong observation skills. Whenever daddy has the opportunity to be back home early, daddy enjoyed going out on walks with you at the Japanese neighborhood to watch the birds and other pets. At a young age, you observe quickly the different moving objects and read the environment effectively. This inspired daddy to be a passionate daddy to continue his role to observe your learning and to try out new parenting tips. It is the very reason why this blog was created, which is to reflect on every new discovery I made with you.

Life is so much more meaningful as I watch life at a

closer distance. As I see you grow and blossom in beauty and intelligence, I am full of marvel at how precious life is. I thank God for reminding me this at the beginning of my career and role as a daddy. A wise Japanese colleague advised that I should not miss this opportunity to watch you grow from a young baby into the 1 year old girl you became. Despite my busyness at work, I put priority to remember to watch your growth and spend time playing and communicating with you. It is a precious moment to see how life fragile as it is, grows into a beautiful flower. Every step you made brought excitement to daddy. It is the thought that one day, you will become someone intelligent and important, much more than daddy. I was so impressed at your gift of languages. At a young age, you listened attentively even before age one. Daddy's investment of time in speaking bilingually in both Japanese and English with you paid off. One day, you will master many languages and charm the world with your insights and ability to build bridges with different individuals and cultures. Your acceptance of daddy is a great start in becoming that special person you were meant to be. Continue to demonstrate your perceptive understanding with patience, love abundantly and cherish all the good memories you have. Be thankful and be joyful. When you smile at these memories, your life will shine like a bright star to others. 
Love, Papa.

(Photos show Haruka's 1 year old studio photos. Daddy cutting his first umbilical cord. While daddy has cut the umbilical cords of all his children, it was only in Japan in this midwife's clinic that there were two midwives available. One of them was patient to take off her glove and snap this wonderful photo of you Haruka.)

Detail: Tip 255: Letter to 1 year old Haruka

0 Tip 253: Thinking about Investing

I previously blogged about investing by coining 2 different acronyms: R.I.C.H. (relates to the general principles in making successful decisions)

and I.N.V.E.S.T (relates to the investment concepts we should be aware when deciding on various options)

.The above covers both a guiding compass and a technical manual which is sufficient for me to start investing. But each of us are different and maybe many others do not jump into investing as easily as me (which can be good sometimes).

A friend on Facebook asked me about my thoughts on investing and how I go about deciding on investments. Yes, there is a gap between where you are at now, and when you finally hold a compass and use a manual in your treks at the investment jungle.

Yet, it is not very different from a decision to start a fitness exercise plan for example, or even the decision to look for a job rather than stay at home to watch TV. It seems hard when we have little information, or feel less confident since we assume a difficult hurdle lies ahead of

us, or assume it takes too much time getting involved and decided to have the easy way out, of not doing anything.

Like keeping fit, investments are necessary. I want to urge you to think deeper about the value of your savings in the next 15 years. Investment does not entail taking huge risks. It merely requires investing time in thinking about your future. As you have asked that question and wondered if you have done enough in investing, the next step is to sit down one weekend or one quiet evening to draw up a fitness plan for your money and earnings.

Ask yourself if you are saving enough? Are you

you diversifying some of that savings into more risky yet higher returns? Would you want to start building up savings to purchase a property and how much percentage of your investment portfolio ought to be in property?

Do you need money for the next 5-15 years and if that savings can be put aside for more risky investment plans that invest in equity?

You are the master of your own future. Even if you are married, you need to set aside an individual plan that TAKES CARE OF YOU. It is best you gather some thoughts even before meeting a financial planner, so you can be sure of what suits you best. Be sure not to be

lured into making large investments that are not diversified.

You may want to consider both a rabbit hunt and an elephant hunt. A rabbit hunt is a regular, daily, weekly or monthly affair where you bring food to the table. This can be interest gained from local or foreign deposits, rent, dividends from stable equities or short term trading profit. You get investment returns regularly to know your money is working for you. Even if your other investments fail, you have a steady plan that would not make you rich, but sufficient for the next few years.

An elephant hunt is a once a year or once every 5-15 years occasion where you celebrate in a feast for the successful sale of a property, a business, a long term regular savings plan or equities you bought at very cheap prices as you know their hidden potential in reaping a large gain such as holding on to Apple stocks at USD12 for 20 years till it holds an exorbitant value of USD490. You should plan for both a tactical short term fitness regime for your savings, as well as a long term strategic plan.

Next, reflect and keep a diary. Do not make impulsive decisions. Make investing a beautiful experience like any other activity that you pursue. By attributing more meaning and thoughts to each action, you appreciate the activity more. When you enjoy learning and participating in your investment decisions, you begin to get better at it. Write down what you purchased, why you purchased it or even take a photo of your initial investment plan or equity purchased. Make it a personal and meaningful activity rather than a click of a mouse of an investment transaction. Like all things, when you give it some thought, you put your heart, soul and mind into it, you gain fruits from the toil of your labor.

This may seem common sense principles, but the first step is to think and then act. Then, you begin to get more experience and begin appreciating the use of your own compass and manuals that you begin to discover along the way. Happy investing! Happy dragon year 2012 to all my friends and loyal blog readers!

(Photos show me being the top 5 participants in a ballroom of more than 1000 Singaporeans who won an autographed book from New Yorker Dr. Alexander Elder in his investment seminar. Also photos of my daughters in Tokyo, at their previous favorite playgroup at Kagurazaka and at Shinjuku Isetan and a Japanese bookstore. Also Sayaka's 1 year old birthday at Pizzeria Mozza. Also a video featuring Sayaka's joy in learning to enter a block.).

Detail: Tip 253: Thinking about Investing

0 Tip 226: Live on 50% of income

I previously blogged about ensuring a cash pile of 1 year's income is available in today's volatile economic environment. I do watch The Suze Orman Show, a show about managing money. Suze like me says that she did not grow up with money. The key to managing money is to not let money manage our lives. One method is to only live on 50% of our income. This is a safety net in case one of the spouse loses his/her job, the other spouse's income will be sufficient to cover family expenses.

It is neccessary to build a strong foundation of savings and then only start spending and enjoying money after that. This can possibly go against preferences and philosophies of certain people who believe in living for the moment. But reality is that you cannot be envious of others, but build your own wealth yourself. It really is not that difficult. It just takes some determination to live within your means, or rather 50% of your means.

Be determined to settle all your existing debts with high interest rates. Also, be determined to cut all unnecessary wants and delay them till you have sufficient savings. This can be done with any amount of income. Only invest when you have sufficient savings and the investment money set aside is not for emergency use.

I still remember saving my scholarship allowances every month during my 1 year MBA stint in Hawaii. I cooked meals every day and even volunteered for events to enjoy proper meals and trips. Every month, I will set an unrealistically high target of savings and put all my income into a step up savings account, and be determined to delay my wants till the next income cheque and not withdraw from my savings account. Towards the end, I saved enough for a trip to all the islands of Hawaii and also a cash pile of savings together with a flight ticket to Japan for my next job.

Then, during my job in Tokyo, I saved enough to buy an apartment in central Tokyo within 2 years. I saved enough to get married and now being able to support a family of a wife and 2 kids. All the experiences represented in the photos on this blog are through the most optimised way of spending. I only travel when it is free or through the cheapest available means. None of my wealth is inherited either from my parents or from my spouse. I am the only one working in the family and support my wife's and kid's expenses. Anyone can do it. It is through living within your means - or rather 50% of your income.

(Photos show Haruka goldfish scooping, a traditional Japanese game and playing water at her alma mater, a Japanese playcenter near our previous home in Tokyo).

Detail: Tip 226: Live on 50% of income

0 Tip 225: Fully toilet trained at 2 yrs 9 mths

Halleluyah! I did not expect that day to come so soon when I need not buy diapers anymore. Not quite though, since my diaper purchase starts again in 2011.

I have to admit that I was too anxious, impatient and wanting to rush Haruka to be rid of diapers. It truly is a natural process when reason will take the better of the child as the child understands that if they grow older, they would not want to wear diapers.

Now, even when Haruka has diarhea, she controls it so well that she keeps asking me to take her to the toilet. Dad's job doesn't end. When there is no longer the task of buying and carrying diapers, a new task emerges.

It seemed like only yesterday when I blogged about Haruka being potty trained at 16 months. Yet, even when she could do it, she later refuses as it is convenient when she has well absorbent diapers. Yet, after a few nags and encouragement, one day she just decides to be diaper free.

I think one breakthrough is that Haruka begins to be more comfortable with toilet seats. It may require some courage initially to reach for a high toilet seat and sit firmly on a large bowl. As she could start a habit of using toilets outside the house, she need not depend on using only the potty at home. This habit improves bowel control throughout the day. Hence, parents may be able to quicken the process by encouraging the child to use the toilet seat at home once the child is potty trained. It took Haruka just 2 years and 9 months to be 100% toilet trained and I am very proud of her.

(Photos show Haruka with new found friend, Mihiro-chan in Tokyo at Inokashira Park during her short 5 days stay in Tokyo. Mihiro-chan is exactly 1 year older than Haruka).

Detail: Tip 225: Fully toilet trained at 2 yrs 9 mths